By: Madison Wylde of Bomb Snow Magazine
2 – You’re boring and your beard smells.
3 – Your dog gets beat up by hers and you always leave afterwards
4 – You got TOO wasted or blazed to hang and have to go home.
(You have bigger issues if this is the case.)
5 – You have two fashion styles ---- Throw back Neon Oney & Tattered Camo
6 – You favorite restaurant is “anywhere there’s free shit to grub”
7 – You cut your own hair and brag about it at the shop.
8 – You are described at “steezy” and followed by “Ha that asshole, I’m not surprised”
9 – Your truck smells of cigs, booze, your bro’s, your boots, and you
10 – You can’t cut down a tree, pitch a tent (not that kind), build a fire, or hunt.
11 – You’re harder when you watch snow porn than real porn….(titties vs. pow)
12 – Your only music choices are bluegrass, dubstep, and rap
13 – She can rage harder than you (Shots vs. PRBnation)
14 – You wear the SAME BEANIE everyday from Oct-June and your EX made it
15 – You’re 30 years old and still wash dishes, rent skis, bus tables, and eat “Hot & Ready’s” often
16 – You have more than 10 stickers on your board/ski’s you don’t get paid by
17 – You play around with new facial hair fads with your “shotty facial hair”
18 – You wear croakies, a collared shirt, and Chaco’s to “special occasions”
19 – You have a trust fund and still have DUCT TAPE ALL OVER YOUR GEAR
20 – You can’t invite her over to your house because:
a)it’s a car not a house b) you couch surf c)your roommate is her EX
21 – Her gear is better than yours (skis, board, bike, truck, house)
22 – You call her “Dude, Bro, Man, or Homie”
23 – You work in the “Medical Marijuana”Business – you get her high for free, you will never break
through to “Hi Mom, this is my Pro Stoner Man.”
24 – You try to have sex with base layers on
25 – You can’t dance (remember dancing takes rhythm, movement, and coordination)
26 – You only respond to her in text or twitter
27 – You don’t need “a girlfriend if there’s no snow”
28 – The only date you take girls on is to a “community meal” for free
29 – You buy presents for others that you NEED ---- like a headlamp or backpack
30 – You have drunkenly made out with more than 5 of her friends
31 – You aren’t creative --- even with a Halloween costume you blow it
32 – She can hike faster than you
33 – You take other chics to her work for a “hook up from a friend”
34 – You cant pay rent till the 5th because you couldn’t “hit the bank with all that pow”
35 – You can’t talk about current affairs other than: the snowpack, the stoke, the bros, your sponsors, and you
No comments:
Post a Comment